HELLoween

Dear Friend,

As I am typing all this out, I am not ashamed to say I am in tears.
And it doesn't matter how close we are. Today, I just want to say I love you.

Thank you for making an impact in my life. I will miss this place dearly, despite it being a tiny red dot compared to the place I'm heading back to. Nearly 15 years it has been since I've stayed here and for once, I'm going to say that I am proud to have been a resident. Sadly, things have gotten out of control for me. So much out of control, that I have been forced to migrate back to my home in Melbourne and restricted (not because of an offence I've committed but something confidential ) in a way from coming back to Singapore ever again. I really can't bear to leave. I grew up here for fuck's sake. I even had my life all figured and planned out from date till death here. But in exactly a month's time I will lose my dream and most importantly you, my friend. Although I may still be able to communicate with you through facebook and live messenger, it's not the same feeling as talking, joking around and seeing each other in real life. Loneliness is a scary thing. The thought of going there alone is enough to kill me. It's going to be hard to make friends there because lets face the fact - skin colour does play a part and I know because I visit my grandparents there every year. (The ang moh's in Australia see us as we see bangalas in Singapore.) No more 'hor, ha, lor, la, lei" how to live leh you tell me?! No more shopping and just chilling in town, no more late nights with my homies, no Sentosa, no Pasir ris, no school, NOTHING. It's going to be a lonely and long journey, this life of my mine from here onwards.

At this point of time I want to tell you that if you're studying, don't go 'fuck the teachers for giving homework, fuck the exams and fuck school' because school is actually the time in your life where you have the most fun and even more importantly, find people who care about you other than family.

Goodbye Singapore, goodbye my memories and goodbye my Friend.

I hope you will always remember me for who and what I am as much I will remember each and every one of you who made a difference in my life.

I will miss you.

The actual date of my departure will be around the 1st of April 2010. Till then, do make some time for to us meet up and share a last moment together.

Sebastian Lee

1 March 2010

11.58p.m.